I used to work at a used bookstore. That sounds like an awesome thing. I am a bookish girl (some people may say incredibly awkward nerd with estrogen, but those people are mean). Girls who read books for fun should like working in bookstores.
You would be wrong. I LOVED working in a bookstore. I got books for free, and I got to pick those books before customers even got to look at them. Sometimes when my bosses were busy yelling at the upstairs manager in scary psycho voices, I could hide in a corner and read. It was the awesome.
But it is a sad fact of life that you can love something too much. Sometimes that something you love is actually a minimum wage job with no benefits and a wildly unpredictable boss.
So I got a new job!
And I have work studies (read: subordinates [read: POWER])!
But no free books 😦
It’s OK though, because I am the assistant for this guy:
Note, he is not actually a bear. That is in fact, just a picture drawn by Allie at Hyperbole and Half. But, this blog post will be a lot interesting if every time I say Harry, you picture a bear.
The job is kinda a big deal. It is the first time that I am NOT in retail or a call center. It’s a little like I am actually a grown up. Except that I feel more like I am pretending. I am playing dress up with sports jackets and dress pants. Someday I may even put on my mother’s high heels and strut up and down the hallway in comically oversized shoes.
Whenever anyone asks me if I can do something I am all:
“Of course I can Fed Ex that package because I am an adult and I know how to do these things!”
But in my head it is more like: “What? Fed Ex? Do I call them? Do they have a website? Am I paying out of pocket? How much DOES this package weigh?”
And then In-Head Tamara starts running in a circle, screaming and pulling out her hair while fat cartoon tears stream down her face. Luckily I am IN COSTUME. So I look like a professional. I don’t do any of those things out loud or for real. Though this blog may be more interesting if you assume that I did.
In fact do that.
My first day at work, I went into HR and signed some paper work. And then they were all: do you know where your office is? I did. That was my training.
Then I threw up in the bathroom.
Then, Harry came over
“Grrrrrrrr Make copies grrrrrrlllllll please.” And he made a snapping motion. I wasn’t scared though. It’s not his fault he is a bear.