Today is my first day back at work.
One the one hand, I’m glad. I sorta miss the routine of the office, the need to work for my money instead of sleep for it.
On the other hand, I just went from 0 hours of work to 8 hours of work and I am tired.
But it means one other thing. This is likely to be my last kidney related post. It’s not that it isn’t going to still effect my life. It will. But I am sorta tired of talking about it and generally running out of clever things to say.
But here is one final thing I noticed.
Going through major surgery is like your life flashing before you in medium motion (not slow, not fast, takes about a month).
1st: You wake from a quiet darkness to a world of pain and not being able to hold your own neck up. When they woke me from surgery, I blinked up at two nice looking doctors who immediately left. Then I tried to lift my head and ask for a bottle (my mouth was dry OK).
3rd, no wait, 2nd: Your first poop is a big deal. You may remember me posting about how I couldn’t poop. It was a big concern. But then I did. And it was amazing. Like, I didn’t realize how grateful I should be for the whole pooping thing. But basically the first poop was a marker worthy of a baby book entry for sure.
3rd: You enter your elementary school years. Your bored and throwing mini tantrums when nothing entertaining happens all day. The babysitter (Netflix) runs out of steam sometime during the 2nd week. Your boyfriend bribes your friends to get you out of the house.
4th: As a second time teenager, you get behind the wheel for the first time again. Once again, you are nervous but excited. Sure you know exactly what you are doing this time, but the pressure from the seat belt on your incision is cause for concern anyway.
5th: I already told you about the pregnancy thing. In this scenario, it lands in the early teen years, so I guess you are one of THOSE girls. The ones your parents warn you about.
6th: Your first day back at work! Your finally responsible enough to land a job. Just hope you can hold it down, because sitting around the house for a month eating and being lazy is expensive. You have debts you’d like to pay.
7th: Almost immediately upon starting your job again, you are greeted by the harsh fluorescent lights in the work bathroom. Suddenly you remember how much gray hair you’ve accumulated. It’s more than last time you looked.
Congratulations! Your back to the Old Man/Girl you once were!