I know it has been a while. AND I know that the key to successful blogging is you keep the content fresh and update frequently. But, I didn’t.
I will do the next best thing. This is the apologetic “while I was gone” post.
Event 1) My job got crazy. School started, and all of the sudden there were 50 or more freshman who needed to know where their classes were.
I know that doesn’t sound bad. But understand, all 50 needed to know, at the same time, and all their classes weren’t in the same place and…
Ok. You’re right, that’s not that bad. BUT! I have also been spending no less than 5 hours a day staring at a spreadsheet. Have you ever worked on the same spreadsheet for 5 hours a day? Do you have even half of an actual brain?
Then you know how much that sucks.
Event 2) I am about to finish writing my novel. Now, when I say finished, I don’t want you to think it is almost done. That it has finally reached the point where I am happy with how it turned out. Actually, quite the opposite.
I am almost finished, because I have been working on it so long I am sick of the thing. It might be good, it might be awful and I have been reading the same words so many times that I can’t tell the difference. So I am calling it in.
I am ready for something new. I think a ghost story. Maybe for adults this time. Maybe not. I kinda like YA books a lot more than most grown women with disturbing amounts of gray hairs ever should.
Anyway. I have begun the process of sending this novel out to agents. I don’t expect much, but I figure it is good practice.
Sending your novel out sucks. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different. First off, you are pretty sure this is the worst crap you have ever written. But you have to write a query letter about how it is a shining example of literary genius. You have to lie. You have to lie through your teeth. Except that there is this tiny infant bird, fluttering in your heart. He is your hope that your novel is actually good. He believes you aren’t lying when you talk of your books merits. He is perched so precariously in your heart, he will probably fall, a clumsy toppling onto the hard ground. His naked goose pimple skin will grow cold as he dies.
You must not let this happen.
All through the rejection letters, the scrapping for new people to show it to, the many, many queries that seem more fake with each go, you have to cup your hand around this bird and protect him from the winter wind.
Sounds shitty right?
Event 3) I got a hair cut.
Event 4) Fringe started again. The new season has parallel universe clones running all over the place, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember. I tried to watch it after too much pizza and beer and passed out in a hops and cheese coma.
But I was reminded of something I need to do. Some time ago, I found this on my site stats:
I would like to issue a formal apology to Olivia Dunham.
I am sorry Olivia (I can call you Olivia, right?). I know I complained about you. I can’t help it. You are beautiful and have a great hair stylist. Sometimes, I get jealous.
But the truth is, you are one bad ass woman. You give woman main characters a good name. You are sexy, but you don’t lead with your sex. You face bizarre but deadly phenomenon in comfortable shoes.
When I get upset about how great your braid is, and it is truly great, I am doing feminism a disservice. I am getting competitive with another female over something as dumb as fucking awesome kick ass hair.
I am sorry Olivia Duhnam. I really do think you are swell.
(I will try and be better about posting)